An Actual Confession! (gasp!)

All right, I did title this blog "Confessions etc. etc...." so here's one for you. 

I have a terrible habit of failing to follow through on things.  I think of a new project/idea/goal/inspiration, and I get super enthusiastic about it, and come up with grandiose plans and schemes as to how I'm going to make it happen and (at least sometimes) how it will make some huge change or impact in my life.  Then I start to actually do whatever it is I've set out to do. In the beginning everything seems okay. For awhile at least I do put in a solid effort, maybe for a few weeks, sometimes even as long as a couple of months. 

Then something happens.  Either it's harder than I thought it would be, or I get discouraged about the progress I'm making, or worst of all I'll be making decent progress but then a new project/idea/goal/inspiration comes along and because it has the glamour and shine of a new idea, the one I'm currently working on starts to seem lacklustre or dull in comparison, and I transfer all of my energy and effort to the new pet project, and so the cycle continues.  That last one is the most common...I have a terrible weakness for wondering what's around the next corner, or through the next door, or what's happening tomorrow. 

This failure of follow through has happened with a desire to exercise more, to learn new languages (or relearn french, my mother's a french teacher dammit I should be bilingual!), to get back into playing guitar, to write more (even this blog is in some ways an attempt to get myself writing more), to spend more time on school work, and so on, and so on.  It tends to happen when I get jobs too...during the first few weeks or months of training I'm the golden boy, who looks like such a promising new candidate for whatever the position is, but then I get comfortable with what I'm doing (translation: lazy) and start just treading water, instead of still striving to push forward and continually improve and all that early praise dries up and I just seem average again. 

I'm not writing this as a prelude to a belief that I will miraculously change...this is not a new year's resolution (you can guess how successful I am at keeping those!) It was just on my mind, and I'd never written about it before (that I can recall) so I figured I'd put it down here.  To name a thing is to own a thing, or so they say, and at least I can acknowledge that I know this about myself.  It is not one of my more endearing qualities.

Attack of the Christmas Zombies

I get it.  Really I do, the holidays are a stressful time and people get burnt out and frustrated with the seemingly endless sea of decisions and preparations they have to make.  I've been there.  But come on people, sometimes the questions you're asked just aren't that hard!  You should still be able to answer them.  Unless something darker and more insidious is going on...unless you have become a Christmas zombie!

Consider the following exchange, when a customer comes to my cash register to buy something:
me: Do you have one of our discount cards?
customer: *blank uncomprehending stare*
me: *this time pointing to an example card at the register* Do you have one of our discount cards? 
customer: uhhhhhhhhhhhh...*I take this as a no*
me: Okay, and did you want to buy a plastic bag for your purchase?  They're five cents. 
customer: uhhhhhhhh...*they make a - possibly involuntary - head twitch that I interpret as a negative. I finish ringing in their purchase, with an effort to avoid having to ask any further questions, then smile politely while they shuffle away.*

Now consider the following slightly dramatized version:
me: Do you have one of our discount cards?
customer: *blank uncomprehending stare, one empty eye socket, clutching gnawed limb*
me: *this time pointing to an example card at the register* Do you have one of our discount cards? 
customer: brrraaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns....*I take this as a no*
me: Okay, and did you want to buy a plastic bag for your purchase?  They're five cents. 
customer: brrraaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns....*they attempt to grab for my skull, their remaining eye gleaming with unholy fire.  I brush them politely away, interpreting this as a lack of desire for a bag. I finish ringing in their purchase, then smile politely while they shuffle off to eat the people at the beauty product booth outside my store*

Do you see how those two scenarios are almost exactly the same?  Christmas zombies, I tell you, it's a zombapocalypse waiting to happen. 

Start with the Dough and the Sauce...

I have a Greek final exam in two days that I really should be studying for...so of course, this seems to me to be the best time to do something completely not study related and start a new blog. I don't know about the rest of you but my desire to do something fun (blog, read, play video games etc.) is directly proportionate to how badly I should be doing something else (study, clean, go to work, etc.).  And being aware of that fact does nothing to help me overcome it.  But hey, at least you all benefit right? Assuming I can come up with anything worth reading.  Hmm...

Okay, well the name of the blog for starters.  I love pizza.  It's pretty much an addiction, it doesn't seem to matter how often I have it, I'm always in the mood for more.  Case in point, I had pizza for lunch and dinner yesterday (in my defense, I had an exam last night too, so it's not as lazy as it sounds) and yet when thinking about what to eat for lunch today, what thought crosses my mind first but "hmm, I could go for pizza!" Possibly this means I need help, but I don't think there's a support group for that. 

...Now there's a mental image.  Me, standing in front of a circle of people sitting on those uncomfortable plastic chairs...you can see the pizza sauce still on my chin, perhaps one lone pepperoni piece stuck to my shirt.  I have one of those "hello my name is" stickers on, and I'm in the middle of stammering out "Hi my name is Thomas and I'm a pizzaholic."  But I digress...

I've written blogs in the past, but sooner or later I always lose track of them and they disappear into the land of wind and ghosts.  This is probably because at times I have the attention span of a hyperactive fruit fly.  So I'm not going to make any grandiose promises about how often I'll post or anything like that.  We'll see what happens.  Nor will I try to predict what I will be writing about, although I can guess rants about life in retail, books, video games, and anything else that captures my attention enough to make me want to say something about it. 
In the meantime I need to get ready for work...I have to pay for the pizza somehow!